Dear Partner of A Pregnant Woman

Dear Partner of a Pregnant Woman,

Congratulations! Baby on the way. I’m sure you’re ecstatic and pooping your pants all at the same time. Many emotions are being felt by you and your pregnant partner. As you embark on this adventure, you’re going to realize money is going out a lot quicker than before. The diapers must be bought, the crib, car seat and pack and play cost HOW much?! Breathe. There are many resources that can help you get the most bang for your buck but what im about to say should not be something you say no to or skimp on: your pregnant partners physical, emotional, nutritional, spiritual well being.

She is feeling everything and more. Soon she’ll feel little pokes and jabs coming from inside! Stress levels are high because she has A LOT to worry about. Is she doing all the right things to ensure the baby is healthy? How does she know what bottles to choose? What if her doctor doesn’t support a natural delivery? Cloth diapers vs disposables? What birth classes should you take? She’s slightly or majorly freaking out! Help her! Be open to discussing pregnancy strength training if she brings it up or tell her about it and share this with her! I promise she will love you more if you show you care about her sanity (and health and happiness)!

Pregnancy exercise is regularly encouraged in the media in magazines and websites though not typically reinforced by a woman’s support group or even doctor, making it a very grey area. Obviously no one wants your woman visiting a trainer off the street who has no idea how her body is changing or recovering postpartum. This can cause injury or frustration. Women want to feel heard and part of a community during this time so pregnancy exercise dvds might not be an enticing option. 9 times out of 10 they don’t want to be the only pregnant women in a group class.

What does pregnancy and postpartum strength training help her feel?
-empowered
-connected
-heard
-strong
-confident
-relieved
-joyful
-educated
-lighter

What does this mean for YOU? She’s happier, less stressed, still emotional but not one extreme to the other, she depends on you for the things you can provide aka you don’t have to be her trainer, motivator, educator, cheerleader AND researcher. You can be one or none or all if you choose but most importantly, you can simply be you. The man or woman she needs to feel constant love, security, energy and support from.

How about your relationship? Just like the effects of exercise on you, your pregnant partner will sleep better, have more energy, be more productive, happier, more confident, stronger. This allows you both to enjoy this transformational period together with a little less stress, more ease and more connectedness. These self care habits will also transfer into post partum when she will need her own time away from baby. This is so so necessary to her wellbeing and your relationship with her. Its also a time for you to spend quality time with the kid(s)!!

Why do women want to exercise during pregnancy?

-prepare for growing a human
-don’t want to gain excess fat
-scared of postpartum weight loss/getting their body back
-prepare for the marathon of labor
-want to have natural birth
-exercise but don’t know what to do now
-want to keep fitness routine regular/injury free

Ask your pregnant partner if she’s interested in any of these things or feeling the things listed above. Talk about it! What does she want and how does she want to feel?

Top excuses I hear as to why partners don’t support pregnancy strength training:

‘Training is unsafe bc I’m unsure of what it includes.’

Cool, I’m happy you’re questioning what she wants to invest in because you want to make sure she is safe AND spending wisely. Its not widely broadcast in our society just how beneficial exercise during pregnancy is. Sure we see magazines but in early 2015, the Today show did a segment on the benefits of weight lifting during pregnancy. There are many scientific research studies published showing the benefits of pre and post natal exercise on mom AND baby! The research backing what I do exists, and I continue to stay current on exercise, nutritional and mindfulness best practices.

‘That’s too expensive, just buy DVDs to do at home.’

If you’re concerned about safety, encouraging her to save some bucks by working out at home, ALONE, is the opposite of what you should say. Especially is she has never exercised before, she needs to be in the presence of a trained professional. I hate DVDs because they do not correct your form. Incorrect posture and form are how women get injured and they don’t need injuries on top of growing a baby.

Also, please take into consideration how much you might have spent on your wedding. A 2 week vacation. Those new hunting/boating/gaming accessories. You drop a lot of money on EXPERIENCES. I’m asking you to invest in your partner and your future child’s health.

Second, if you’ve been paying attention throughout this post, you’ll realize that strength training during pregnancy is 70% about emotional/mental empowerment and 30% physical benefits. Training during pregnancy isn’t meant to make your partner the next Olympian. Its about creating the opportunities for her to feel, express, connect and lastly, sweat. What price would you pay for her to be happy? If you’re a decent human being, I hope you said, ‘anything’ because how do you put a price on all of these results for her, you and your relationship and the health of your baby? Those things are invaluable, they’re priceless. So cutting back or being savvy with spending in some areas to allow your partner to be happy seems like a no brainer. Especially since she’s the one growing and birthing a human! Pamper her, it will benefit you in more ways listed above.

Be the partner that encourages your pregnant partner to be her most joyful self during this time. You don’t want to see her cry in shame when her birth experience didn’t go as planned or she’s frustrated with not being able to lose the last of the baby weight or she’s so sleep deprived and not eating she loses interest in the things that previously brought her joy (symptoms of postpartum depression). She needs you during this excitingly scary time to help her shine bright and make healthy choices for both her and baby and you. What positively impacts her, positively impacts you and vice versa. I’m sure you’ve heard horror stories. Be proactive. Choose the path of actively choosing empowerment and joy for the longevity of your relationship, the happiness of your family.

Much love,

Colleen Flaherty, CSCS

Baby Bump Academy
babybumpacademy.com
585-261-3743